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So, Is your boyfriend a cheater? Knowing the signs of cheating in a relationship can be tricky, but when you have this knowledge you can use it to help you determine if your beloved boyfriend (or husband) is cheating on you.
But first, what makes someone cheat?
It’s a known fact that when you meet a person and start up a brand new relationship, there are very intense chemical reactions going on. Our body’s chemicals release when we become involved in a new or extremely intense relationship. You can even compare these chemical reactions to that of what you feel when you do certain drugs like cocaine or ecstasy.
And, similar to these drugs, once your body starts getting used to them, this intensity starts wearing off and you need more of it to achieve that intensity again. Likewise, those whose body responses drive them more than their emotions will be more inclined to gain that initial intensity back they lose once the “newness” of the relationship is gone. And this is even in spite of the “security” they get from an established relationship like financial security or having a partner there waiting for them when they get home from work.
Then, of course, you have those men with high testosterone levels who cheat because they’re looking to satisfy their high sex drive. Rather than considering the feelings of their partner or the repercussions of cheating, they are more in tune with satisfying themselves physically and often go to great lengths to achieve this — that be multiple sexual partners.
So, how do you know if your boyfriend is cheating? Here are some potential signs.
1. They worry more about their looks. If your boyfriend is cheating, you may notice them beginning to take a sudden interest in how they look. They may do things like:
- Begin working out or going to the gym
- Invest in new clothing
- Focus more on their hygiene and grooming
- Wear cologne (BIG flag if they don’t already wear it)
If these types of behavior are not his norm, they could indicate your boyfriend is trying to impress another person.
2. They travel a lot. Your boyfriend (or spouse) is traveling out of town for “work-related” functions lately or going out with co-workers to social events often.
3. They don’t notice you. Despite how sexy and incredibly fit you are, your partner doesn’t seem to notice or shows less intimacy towards you.
4. They keep their phone password locked. Sure, many people lock their phone. But when you’re in a long-term committed relationship or marriage, your significant other shouldn’t have a problem giving you their password, just in case you need to access their phone for a legitimate reason. A locked phone is fine, but if you ask for the password and they’re reluctant, they could be hiding something.
5. They’re emotionally distant from you (and you’ll know when this happens). They’ll seem like they’re constantly daydreaming or distant from you. When what once used to be cuddling on the couch now has turned into the two of you sitting on opposite ends, this could be a sign he’s into someone else.
6. He’s more sexual than normal. Often people associate cheating with a lack of sex in their relationship. However, this isn’t always the case. Cheating can leave people wanting more sex. Or, your partner may have sex more with you than often because they don’t want you to become suspicious.
7. They pick fights. Your boyfriend or husband is picking fights with you all of a sudden. This could be either they are resenting the relationship or trying to get you to break it off with them. Many times, a cheater will become critical or argumentative to take the heat off of them and make it look like you’re the issue.
8. They go out without you. They go out with friends, co-workers or other groups of people and don’t invite you along. Or they seem to spend a lot of time with a co-worker of the opposite sex.
9. Their parents cheated. When you grow up in an atmosphere of infidelity, it can result in one of two scenarios:
- You become dead set against cheating since you’ve experienced the pain it causes
- You “inherit” the cheating gene (yeah, there’s such a thing — the DRD4 gene).
10. Your boyfriend has cheated before. Once a cheater, always a cheater, right? Well, not necessarily. It really depends on the reasoning behind why they cheated the first time. If they were stuck in an unhappy relationship and met someone else, while its still cheating, it doesn’t mean they are necessarily a cheater and will do it again. But, according to Psychology Today, 45 percent of previous cheaters will cheat again in another relationship. So, if you’re just starting out a relationship with a guy who has a history of cheating, run for the hills — you ain’t going to change him girl. If he did it once because he was in a bad relationship, you could give him the benefit of the doubt.
While you should be aware of the signs of cheating, you don’t want to be over-suspicious or point the finger at your man if he goes out and buys himself a new wardrobe. Trust your instincts. You know your man and you know when “something’s up”. If you notice a few of the signs above and your gut tells you he’s cheating, you may be right.
Is it the end of your relationship if your boyfriend cheats on you once?
This is a really hard one to answer. Each woman is different in how she feels about her man cheating on her. If he does it all the time, I say kick him to the curb — you deserve much better than that girl. Why waste your time on someone who can’t be faithful to you? But, what if he cheats once? Well, this is a personal decision that only you can answer. I can tell you this..my current boyfriend who I have a son with, did cheat on me in the very beginning of our relationship (like 2 weeks into it).
And, I did break up with him. I actually moved on and met another man, got married and had two more kids. A decade later, my husband and I separated and I got back with my original boyfriend (who I had my first son with). We’ve been back together now for almost 7 years and truly have a blissful, happy relationship. While you can’t always tell if someone is cheating on you, I can say he’s home every night with me, shows me a lot of affection and love and I FEEL it deep in my gut that he’s been faithful. You know this kind of thing too girls. 😉
So, can you keep your man from cheating? That’s a whole different post. But, in the meantime, you can always check out these 829 signs he is cheating on you. But, in my opinion, don’t take everything you read to heart. Sometimes all you need is what your inner self and instinct are telling you.
So, we women have to look out for each other. So, comment below if you have any other “signs” that could indicate a cheater.