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Self-confidence is a tricky little thing. And, if you’re trying to figure out how to be more self-confident, don’t worry, you’re not alone. I struggled with confidence issues for the great majority of my life. In fact, my lack of self-confidence held me back from being the person I truly wanted to be and pursuing my dreams.
I’m not really sure why I lacked confidence in myself. I blame it on my middle school years where I was terribly bullied. But, as I got older, I began realizing that if I wanted to achieve my goals in life and be a more sociable person, I had to learn how to become more self-confident. Simple as that.
Besides, good self-esteem and self-confidence make you happier. When you’re confident in yourself, you take more action towards becoming a better person and becoming a success in life. When you’re feeling better about your abilities, it motivates you to work towards your goals. It does me anyway.
Fortunately, you’re not “stuck” being low in confidence It’s not genetic, so there are things you can do to improve your confidence levels and not rely on others to make you happy or feel more confident.
You can be that person who pursues what they want no matter what other people say. You can be that person who’s worthy of respect and admiration. And it all starts with taking control of your self-esteem and self-confidence and taking control of your life.
You may be saying to yourself, “okay great, I need to take control of my life. So, how the heck am I supposed to do that?” Good question and I’ll give you some tips below on how to build confidence. Once you go through these tips, it’s up to you to follow them and continue taking those actions required to maintain your confidence levels.
Check out my post that shows you how to change your mindset and be happy with life
These “actions” are no more than two simple steps:
1. Do what you fear
2. Step outside of your comfort zone
Just do it, I promise, as you keeping doing these two action steps, you’ll have so much confidence in yourself you’ll wonder why you were lacking it before. Now, these are the two main ingredients to self-confidence, but there are other things you can do to help to make these two steps a little easier. Here goes:
Everything starts with a thought, and self-confidence is no different. Remember what Napoleon Hill said,
“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.”
Well, all you have to do is visualize the person you want to be and start acting like them. In a previous post — How to Be Happy With Life-Changing to a Happy State of Mind — I mentioned the key to becoming happy when you’re not is to “fake being happy until you actually are.” The same goes for self-confidence. Fake being confident until you really are.
This works too because that’s what I had to do in the beginning when I was lacking self-esteem and confidence.
When struggling with low self-confidence, people have poor perceptions of themselves. Turn that around by visualizing yourself as a strong, independent person you’d be proud of.
So, let’s get back to that “comfort zone”. Often, we stay in this zone because we’re protecting ourselves from having to experience the unknown. The unknown can be scary. Think of your comfort zone as your little box that’s familiar and cozy. It’s routine and safe. When you’re in this box, you don’t have to do things that scare you. But, staying in this box also keeps you from developing and growing as a person.
Allow yourself to step out of this box and experience a little failure if you have to. The less you allow yourself to make mistakes or experience some failure, the more scared you’re going to be and the more “stuck” you’re going to be in your comfort zone.
I encourage you to practice courage by taking small risks (positive risks) and doing things that you may find intimidating. Practicing courage will require inner strength, but think of it this way — a courageous person is one who opens themselves up for unlimited growth and success.
Quit Talking Negative About Yourself
The more you sit there and put yourself down, the more down you’re going to be. Because you spend more time with you than anybody else, take of that and start saying good things about yourself. Not sure what to say? Start by thinking of some of your strengths or good characteristics. You can even be a little vain here and complement your physical features. The best thing to do is applaud yourself for your accomplishments.
Engage in Affirmations
Before you say affirmations don’t work, let me beg to differ here. I’ve created some huge successes using affirmations. I’ve also re-built myself from a shy, introvert into a stronger, independent woman using the help of affirmations. You can too. Affirmations are actually a great tool you can use when you’re lacking confidence and need a starting point.
Affirmations are uplifting statements you say about yourself. After affirming what’s good about you over and over, your mind will accept these positive statements as truth. Think of it like creating a habit. Do something once or twice and that’s it, you’ve done it once or twice. But, if you do something over and over, it becomes embedded in your mind and becomes a habit.
Here are some good affirmations to say to yourself:
- I am confident
- I am strong and independent
- I’m worth people’s respect
- I am courageous
- My comfort zone no longer controls me
- People look up to me
- I am successful
You get the picture. The point here is that if you’re going to change yourself, you need to start with how you view yourself.
Celebrate your Accomplishments
Recognize your wins no matter how small or big, and give yourself a pat on the back for it.
Take Positive Actions
Going beyond “thinking positively”, I’m challenging you to act positively. Take actions that are going to instill confidence in yourself. You know the saying, “action speaks louder than words”. Not only are you exactly what you think you are, you’re also what you do. So, by taking positive actions, you’re slowly changing yourself with each action.
Some examples of positive actions may include:
- Working out
- Helping another person
- Going out and meeting new people
- Doing more at work than what your job entails
- Complement other people
Smiling is perhaps one of the most effective ways to change how you feel. So, stand up tall, shoulders back and wear the biggest smile you can. This is a good start to building self-confidence.
Watch How You Dress
If you want to feel self-confident, start by dressing like you’re confident. Wear things that make you feel good about yourself. Ditch the jeans and put on that sexy dress when you’re going out. Dress professionally at work.
Improve Yourself Each Day
Every day is a new day to start over. Make each day an opportunity to improve yourself and do better. If you had a bad day yesterday, forgive yourself and make today your day to change.
Try the Law of Attraction to Gain Self-Confidence
In some of my other posts, you may hear me talk about how I use the Law of Attraction in my life to bring me yummy things — self-confidence, more money, a better relationship, health, a new car, house, happiness. <<<< Those are actual things I’ve brought into my reality using the Law of Attraction. And, I’m telling you it works! You don’t even have to believe in it. I do now, that I’ve been using it for many years. But, even if you don’t, just try it anyway. Then come talk to me in let’s say 30 days.
Why not try the Law of Attraction to “gain more confidence.” Let that be your first goal. Once you manifest self-confidence (and believe me, for me it only took making the decision to be more confident and visualizing myself as a confident person), you can move on to other things you want in your life.
If you’re not sure what the Law of Attraction is or how to use it, here’s a great course I took (I love Joe Vitale) that is a great start. And, trust me…he knows his stuff.
So, try it to gain more self-confidence and let me know how it works. But, make sure you give it at least a week before you tell me it doesn’t, cause I almost guarantee if you use this law in the right way you WILL begin noticing results almost immediately. This is a good course to get you started.
Hopefully, these tips will help you boost up your self-confidence. I believe in you and you should believe in yourself.
So, would you consider yourself confident in yourself or do you think you could use a little work? Comment below. 🙂 Also, if you’ve found this post helpful, please share it with your friends.
Oh and if you’d like to learn how to change your mindset so you’re really happy with life, check out my post here.